Five Ways Boundaries Build Confidence
Hello, beautiful. I want to share with you five ways that having boundaries, right now today, is going to improve your confidence. I think of boundaries as a line. It marks the limits of an area - it’s a dividing line. When you think about boundaries life, you need to think about what feels good to you and what doesn't right. This is going to be individual for each one of us. By drawing the line on what doesn’t feel good, it can help build confidence in your life through:
One: Boundaries build trust.
Think of someone in your life who is not afraid to say no, but they're warm about it. Right? A lot of times we feel that feel being assertive is aggressive. In reality, those are on different ends of the spectrum -being assertive is expressing yourself in a warm, just a warm, nurturing way. Being assertive is speaking your truth. It's saying what means something to you. This is a good test because the people that love you for you, they will respect that, and they will know your heart. You want those real people around you anyway. You begin to learn to trust yourself when you speak your truth and you trust other people.
Two: Boundaries Build Authentic and Real Relationships:
As the trust with others and yourself build, real and authentic relationship will emerge. When we have those real and authentic relationships, that's you shining - that's you feeling full. Think of a time when you and a friend or you and a coworker, were doing something that you both enjoy because you both said yes to doing something. You're both saying yes in that moment and you shine.
Three: Boundaries Help Avoid Burnout:
If you are constantly chasing approval and validation, or trying to please people, please, um, then you are going to burn out really fast and you are going to be exhausted. And that's when we lose ourselves - we lose ourselves because we're living based on the stories we are telling ourselves from what other people want or expect of us.
Four: Boundaries Support Values:
What do you value? One of my highest values is family. Another one is freedom. I really value having freedom in my life to do what feels good to me to do. I want to share those values with you because everything that I do is based on these values. When I have my children, if something comes up and it might conflict with their schedule, I say, “no.” That's an easy, “no” for me. When I don't have my children, I can open my schedule and do more things.
Five: Boundaries Encourage Self-Love:
Self-love is the mom that you need, it's the best friend that you need, or it's the big sister that you need. Sometimes when I feel burned out, I asked myself, “what is the next best loving thing I need to do for me, right now, in this moment?” We have to ask ourselves what feels good. It's all about mothering yourself, guiding yourself, leading yourself.
I created a self-awareness card deck and one of the cards is about boundaries. This week, ask yourself the following questions and get clear on what your boundaries are. Make sure that you are in alignment with your top values and that you are not spreading yourself too thin.
Do my current boundaries feel clear?
Do I need to redefine my boundaries?
Let me know what you think. If you feel called join us in the Facebook group, you can. This week we're going to be talking about boundaries in the group. Let us know what boundaries do you have and what boundaries do you need.
I look forward to chatting with you on next week's topic. I believe in you keep shining.
-Angela
You can listen to my whole YouTube video on boundries here: